When Garrett and I started planning our wedding, we had a bunch of “oh s%^$!” moments realizing just how much the wedding industry and traditions catered towards the most outgoing of couples. For two low key wall flowers like us, a lot of the expected festivities made us feel, well, anxious. I really don’t need Garrett climbing up my dress for my garter in front of my grandma and ring bearers. And the idea of saying my vows meant just for my love into a microphone for 125 people to hear gives me the sweats.
And then we had an epiphany: when you’re getting married, it’s your day. You can do whatever it is you please, and you don’t have to follow the blueprint.
Why not just elope?
It was important for us to have our family and our best friends there, so we didn’t want to elope or do a mini-money at the court house like a lot of introverted couples do. Instead, in planning our wedding we’ve been intentional in making sure we’re doing the things we want to do, and not doing the traditions that make us uncomfortable.
Traditions we’re skipping
Our wedding is a little bit untraditional to begin with. Our wedding is at a girl scout camp. There will be hiking and canoeing the day before. We’re planning a bonfire for s’mores, lawn games for those of us (ahem, my future husband) who don’t like to dance, and a coffee bar for those of us (ahem, me) who don’t like to drink.
The garter toss & bouquet toss
So, I think we’re already caught up on why the garter toss is as no go from us, but I actually thought about doing a bouquet toss.
If you don’t know me: hey there, hi, hello, I’m Morgan and my toxic trait is I’m highly competitive. I tend to pride myself on my manners and kind nature, but put me in any sort of competition and my alter ego comes out and she scares me. Needless to say, I’ve always seen the bouquet toss as my time to shine, and I just kind of figured that everybody else felt the same way.
Out of every tradition mentioned, this is one that I mighttttt change my mind on. If I do, instead of calling the single ladies out, all unwed guests will be invited to participate given that we aren’t doing the garter toss.
Here’s the thing: I’ve written about a dozen drafts of my vows already, and I’ve sobbed every time. I am trying to get them written and practiced far enough in advance that I won’t ugly cry through them. I’m pretty sure that will be a failed mission. And I don’t need that failure broadcast to everybody there. With that in mind, Garrett also is a deeply private person. As far as emotional, touchy feely things go, only I really get to see that side of him. He wouldn’t be comfortable reading vows in front of all 125 people we’re expecting. At the end of the day, our vows are for each other. Our front row guests and bridal party will likely hear them and that’s fine, but there would be way too much pressure if they were being broadcast widely.
The grand entrance to the reception
Luckily, my friends are introverts too, so my bridal party won’t miss this one. While I know technically the day is about us, and the guests are coming for us, something about being announced by the DJ and having to figure out a spin or cute entrance was something we both excitedly crossed off our agenda for the day.
Instead, we plan on entering the reception with everybody else after a few last minute pictures (we’re doing a first look, so we’ll save a ton of time on pictures with that!) and steal the microphone for our most extroverted moment of the night. We have enough guests coming that we’ll probably not get to talk to any one person for more than a few minutes. With that in mind, it’s important to me to make an announcement thanking everybody for coming so they hear from us directly.
Find the rest of the traditions here
2021 is going to be the year of our wedding, and the year of me creating video content. I’ve set myself a March 5th deadline on my book, so most of my writing energy is going towards that. If you want to keep up with me until then, YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram will be the place to do so.
covid disclaimer wedding planning during a pandemic
Planning a wedding during a global pandemic is a wild ride, y’all. Instead of friends asking, “How is wedding planning going!?” with an air of excitement and enthusiasm, it’s with a cautious tone hinting at impending doom. The look on their faces sympathetic and maybe a little bit pitying.
Garrett and I are 100% prepared to slash our wedding guest count if hosting a large wedding in October is still irresponsible. I am optimistic about the vaccine, and strangely, a disproportionate amount of our guests work in healthcare so they’re first in line. But if there’s one thing that 2020 taught us, it’s anticipate some curve balls.
Depending on where we’re at, I have created 3 alternate guests lists, one to put us at 85 guests, one to put us at 38, and one that puts us at 15, including Garrett and I. We are going to optimistically go forward planning on 125 until around June, and then we’ll start figuring out if that’s realistic or not.
Part of me thinks it’s not, but I like to bully that part of me.