You want to know what I’m sick of seeing? #Goals. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a self-proclaimed ‘goal-digger’ but for those of you who venture onto the tween side of social media, you’ll know that your own personal goals are far different than hashtag goals. If you search #goals on Instagram or Twitter, you’ll be met with pictures of girls with tiny waists, snapshots of seemingly perfect couples, and photos of people living lives that look like they were made for the movies.
But the truth is, social media lies. People post what they want you to see and keep the rest hidden away. You are seeing only the most glamorous, often fabricated part of people’s lives. I think most people show their own personal highlight reel, but are under the impression that everyone else’s lives are as exciting as their social media channels make them out to be.
There are two “insta-famous” girls that have really inspired me to write this because under every one of their pictures they have hundreds of young girls going on about how the girls in these pictures are #goals.
The first is Sjana Earp. Sjana is an absolute darling girl with nearly a million followers on Instagram. She is adorable, Australian, a yogi queen, and she has a metabolic disorder that makes her tall frame stick thin.
Sjana is healthy, athletic, and vibrant, but due to her disorder she has a body that is unattainable for girls with a normally functioning metabolism. And yet, under every picture that she posts there are girls commenting #bodygoals and asking her for the secret to her tiny physique.
The thing is, Sjana has so many great qualities that should be #goals, but they’re not. There aren’t girls commenting that they wish they had as big a heart as her after she spent the summer doing mission work in Africa, there aren’t girls wishing they were as brave as her after she traveled the world solo at 20, and there aren’t girls wishing they were as dedicated as her after she posts pictures doing a challenging yoga pose. Because those things aren’t #goals. In the twisted land of tween social media, skinny = #goals.
“If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live it’s whole life believing it is stupid” – Albert Einstein A photo posted by Sjana Elise Earp (@sjanaelise) on
Another girl that I want to talk about is Alexis Ren – she is a gorgeous model living an exciting life that has taken her around the world. She takes her three and a half million followers along on her adventures via breathtaking pictures she posts on Instagram giving us a glimpse into her photoshoots, travels, and her relationship with her boyfriend, Jay.
Jay and Alexis seem to have the world fooled into thinking that they are #RelationshipGoals because they are gorgeous teenagers travelling the world together as a synergistic power couple. She is a bikini model, he is a bikini designer. Everyone seems to think they have the perfect relationship when that can’t be anything further than the truth.
I have nothing against Alexis (I think she’s adorable!), but her boyfriend gives me the creeps. If you look on her account she posts playful and loving pictures with him that make me understand why girls think that they are #goals. But go on over to his account and Jay is hypersexualizing and objectifying Alexis. On the regular he is posting close ups of her butt and cleavage, along with pictures of the two of them being a bit too intimate for Instagram.
Jay is treating Alexis as an object, a prop to drive sales and gain followers. Jay’s profile takes away Alexis’ identity, making her out to be nothing more than a body and his play thing.
In a loving relationship, you do not use each other. In a loving relationship you keep the intimate moments just that – intimate. And in a loving relationship you shed a positve, bright light on each other.
Relationship Goals are unhealthy because you do not know what goes on in anyone else’s relationship. Anyone can take a cute picture together, plaster on a smile, and hold each other close. Looking happy isn’t the same thing as being happy and the happiest couples are the ones who don’t feel like they have something to prove. The couples you should be looking up to are the ones who treat each other with respect and work every day towards a strong, healthy, and happy relationship – but the thing is, you’re going to find those couples in real life – not on Instagram.
Make yourself your own #goals.
But that is just my two cents on things. You can write me off as a hypocrite (I mean, you don’t see me posting my bad hair days) but I’m just hoping I got my thoughts across. Because I’m not against goal setting at all, and I’m not against role models, either. I’m against comparing yourself to girls (seemingly) living unattainable lives.
Goals can be great if they are made with intention. Setting goals to improve your grades, run a little faster, or eat a little healthier are all great for personal growth. But when you are putting strangers on a pedestal, making their highlight reels your #goals that is when you start setting yourself up for failure.