Ladies: Practice Kindness.


I try not to be bothered by much, and for the most part I’m not. But something that is a huge pet-peeve of mine is the ways girls treat girls.

Way too many girls are catty and mean and just not nice to other girls. If we are going to be mean we should at least focus that on stinky ‘ol boys, right? But lets just actually be nice to everyone. Good karma all around that way!

With that said, here are the top ways I see girls bringing down other girls. It’s easy to fall into the cycle, and if you see yourself doing it, try and make the efforts to stop! No one said it better than Ms. Norbury:

“You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it ok for guys to call you sluts and whores.”

Not only does it make guys think that’s alright, but it’s just not nice!

We all know girls can be mean to other girls, but we are also mean to ourselves, and we shouldn’t be. If I had a dollar for every time I heard one of my friends put themselves down for something superficial, I sure as anything wouldn’t be looking for a job right now!

I want every one of you reading this to do everything in your power to eliminate these negative phrases from your vocabulary, and encourage your friends to do the same!

“Leggings aren’t pants.”

The only people I’m ever going to let dictate what I walk out of the house in are Stacy, Clinton, and my mom. I am tired of girls judging each other for wearing comfortable bottoms. If a girl wants to wear leggings, fine. If she wants to wear jeans, fine. As a matter of fact, if she wants to rock the tutu she wore to her ballet recital in the fourth grade, well that’s fine too. Wear what you are comfortable with and don’t put up with anyone telling you anything other than the fact that you are an adorable, perfect human being no matter what you wear.

Sorry, I’m not wearing makeup.”

Why do girls always apologize when they are caught in public without makeup? I don’t get it. Makeup is great, it’s fun, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wearing it, but on the flip side of that, there is nothing wrong with not wearing it. We have been conditioned to think we are only beautiful when we are behind a mask of foundation, blush, mascara, and lipstick. Screw that. You are beautiful with your greasy hair and acne cream before bed and if anyone tells you otherwise, karate chop their throat.

“I don’t want to get fat.”

I have good news for girls everywhere. One box of thin mints won’t make you fat. It’s fun to treat yourself. I am all for living a healthy lifestyle and nourishing my body with healthy goodies, but the line is drawn when it comes to depriving myself of things that I want to eat. I feel better when I have baked chicken and a salad for dinner, but that will never stop me from skipping dinner and heading straight to dessert if that’s what I want. Treat your body well and fill it with healthy meals, but it’s fine to eat the “fattening” foods too every now and then. And who cares if you get “fat,” that means there’s just a little extra to love!

“She’s a…”

Don’t you dare finish that sentence with: Slut, whore, bitch, etc… Because she’s not. She is a girl just like you who maybe lives her life differently than you do and that’s fine. There is no reason to shame her just because she makes different choices than you would make, or because you and her don’t get along. You can think she is one thing, but I promise you there are plenty of people who think she is beautiful, kind, lovely, funny, and the list goes on. Just like there are plenty of people who think the same about you. It is awful to limit a person to one label when we are all so much more than than what one person perceives us to be.

“He’d never go for me because…”

Because he’s a loser. That is the only acceptable way to finish that sentence. If he’s not into you that’s his own problem and don’t even begin to blame yourself because if he doesn’t like you in all of your magnificent glory, then that is his loss! Focus on making sure you love yourself before you start fretting about what some silly ol’ boy is thinking about you. You are great, and once you know that, you won’t be able to step outside the house without boys chasing you down.

 

Ladies, treat others and yourself with compassion, love, and respect. Don't waste your time tearing each other down when you could be building each other up.

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  • Unfortunately, for me a box of thin mints will make me fat–my body is a wreck that way. 🙂 But I totally agree with all the other things. We need to be kinder to ourselves and kinder to others.

    • Maybe a thin mint now and then would have been better for me to say! Thank you for stopping by, I really appreciate it! Being kinder to everyone, including ourselves is so important and something I’ve been trying to do for a while now!

  • Jenna

    These are all true! Glad someone decided to put it in writing 🙂

    • I am glad that you think so, too! It’s something I’ve thought about for a long time, but I was afraid of being offensive, but I am glad that I ended up writing it!

  • IdlewildAlaska.com

    All true! Great post! I recently turned down a position at a previous employer just because I would have been in an office full of women known to be extremely catty! No thank you! My new job is in an office full of women, but there is no cattyness! I love it!

    • Thank you! I appreciate it 🙂

      And good for you! It’s so important to put your happiness first!! It’s great that you found an office you are comfortable with that has such great women. Good for you!

  • Om Livin’

    Great post! I have actually been casually writing a draft with this exact same subject! Us girls need to bring each other up & not push them down. You said some really great things & I might possibly link this post for my readers to read more on this subject! ❤ ❤ {I did say causally writing so it might be a week or so before I get the motivation to post it! lol}

    • Thank you!

      I am eager to read it, I will keep an eye out for your post! That’s so kind of you to want to link mine, thank you!

      I think it’s a great message to put across, because as other people have said in the comments, for so many girls, these habits are hardwired into us!

  • Okay you are right on about so much! There is nothing worse than when these words are said to each other. We need to stop the judgement & the cattiness.

    • Thank you for reading! You are right, we really need to stop all of the judgement and cattiness! Everyone would be so much happier!

  • Krystal Gregory

    This is fantastic! I’m appalled how the way some girls treat themselves and others. I enjoyed reading this!

    • Thank you so much! It would be so great if girls (and everyone, for that matter!) would be nicer. I am so glad that you enjoyed. 🙂

  • anitaboeira

    That is very interesting, and I think a lot of those habits are so hard wired into us girls, that it turns into a conscious efforts to break free of them. I try to live by the rule of not doing to others what you wouldn’t like done to you, but when you say those kind of things to yourself, of course you won’t even notice when you do to another woman.

    • I completely agree with you! Girls don’t even realize that they are doing because it’s what they’ve always done, and what their friends have always done. Hopefully women will start to treat other women (including themselves!) better. Thank you so much for reading!

  • Thank you for posting such an uplifting article. I agree with Anita Boeira, those habits are almost second nature to most of us. It is going to be hard to break some of those habits, but it will make your life so much happier in the long run. Thanks again for posting.

    • I am so glad that you liked it! Anita Boeira did make such a great point in saying that! These things become habit, and they are a habit most of our friends do too, so it’s hard to quit or even realize it’s a problem! You are right, breaking these habits will make people happier!

  • Samantha Jackson

    I wish every girl would look in the mirror and see how beautiful they were and then give that to the next person they see

    • I agree! It’s sad how many people just don’t realize it!

  • Casie [kay-cee; KC]

    Such an AMAZING post, and I totally agree! I try to just be nice across the board, usually leaving the most harsh criticisms for myself (but even THAT I need to get over!) We’re human…we all have flaws, and let’s face it — leggings and yoga pants are just flat our more COMFORTABLE than anything else in the world.

    • Oh my goodness, thank you so much for your feedback! I am so happy that you liked the post! I love being comfy, and if that’s a flaw then so be it (;

  • Kim

    The part about getting fat has always bothered me. As a bigger girl I’ve taken it as a huge insult because the girls who say that make it sound like it’s such a negative thing. Is being overweight healthy? Not necessarily. But being overweight doesn’t make a person ugly or unappealing by default. Your actions, your words, your attitude and how you treat others are what can make you either attractive or unattractive both inside and out.

    Thank you for sharing such a great, thought provoking post. I admit I’ve been guilty of a few of these things at times but as I get older and become wiser I’ve learned to be kinder and more understanding.

    • It makes me sad that girls have been molded into thinking that beautiful has a size. They worry way too much about fitting some sort of twisted standards that it’s easy for them to lose track of inner beauty. You are completely right and you put it so eloquently, I like that a lot, Kim!

      I feel like everyone has been guilty of at least some of these but once you become aware of them it’s so much easier to make the decision to stop.

  • Brittany at 17 Hour Days

    The part about: “the only people who will dictate what I wear are Stacy, Clinton and my mom” was my favorite 🙂

    • Haha thank you! I am glad you liked it 🙂 I appreciate your visit to my blog, have a lovely day!

  • Great post! I am one that HATES the “She’s a…” comment the most. The B word isn’t allowed in my house (among others)- but people/women need to stop referring to women by that word. Thank you for sharing this! I’m glad I stopped by! (from the SITS group) 🙂

    • I don’t like the B word at all, good for you for not allowing it in your house! I really appreciate your kind comment, thank you so much for stopping by, Kristine!

  • Megan Walker

    This is such a good post, especially the part about being hard on yourself! I definitely fall into that trap. I am trying hard to revamp how I look at myself.

    Thanks for sharing on Hump Day Happenings!

  • 1. As a father to three girls, I hear some of these things. I won’t ban them, but I will bring up your points and enlighten them to what these things can mean. I think they hear these things – especially the leggings one – and go along with the crowd.

    2. How girls and women treat themselves has such an impact for how boys and men do, too. But it takes us boys and men taking responsibility for how we treat you and the respect we show you.

    3. We “loser” guys are sometimes just like any other guys … we might be guys who just live our lives differently from guys who ‘get it.’ It’s all a learning process. That said, as I mentioned in No. 2, we have to take responsibility for our own actions and navigate life as best we can. When all else fails (and often before it does), be nice.